Tonka Tough or Weapon of Mass Destruction

tonkaRaising a child means learning new things. You learn what is like to be totally responsible for another life. You learn that the little person you are responsible for is comprised mostly of poop, pee , farts, throw-up, drool, and spit, all held together with liberal amounts of snot.
My son looooves construction equipment, he can ID every piece of machinery at the construction sites we pass by, and usually does at the top of his lungs flailing his arms like a mad man for emphasis.
It seemed like a no brainer that we get him some Tonka toys. For those of you who don’t have kids, most new Tonka toys are plastic. This pissed me off to no end. My child should not be forced to play with cheap plastic toys when I grew up with all steel Tonka trucks. We found him a set of old school Tonkas at a yard sale. They have probably been played with almost constantly since the 70’s but were still in decent shape. Nothing like American Made steel toys.(Insert Team America theme song here)
This brings me to my latest teachable moment, or actually two. First All Steel American Made Tonka toys are freaking heavy and very hard, like hard as steel hard. Second every toddler is a Jason Bourne type expert in Eskrima, able to turn any household item or toy into a deadly weapon, and somehow aim that deadly weapon at your junk or boobs depending on the targets sex. When those two are combined nothing good can come of it. Nothing good, except for when that single guy who thinks that kids are all fun and games and buys those loud ass toys for your kid, gets his teachable moment.
So it turns out Plastic Tonka toys were not just some corporate scheme to increase profit by using cheap material and Chinese slave labor. Okay it probably is a scheme to increase profits but that’s ok, or at least ok as far as my junk goes. I’ll be buying plastic trucks for my son from now on.


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